Mahdieh :: Blog
In midst of my ongoing research on my pains and daily struggle to shed lights on my main concerns, Leggo’s writing was a treasure. It helped me a lot in articulating my thoughts. As i've written here so far, I’ve faced my main pains through this journey. Painting, learning, living…And I wondered which one is my real pain?! It was the time I felt that they are NOT separate! They are not some individual issues, they all are related! Although they seem different subjects but they all are I. I think they are all one and in other words I face to one challenge. The “LIFE”What painting means is what learning means and so what living means to me. As Leggo beautifully has ruminated under the name of “living poetically” this is the kind of life worth to live…A life that “connects us with wonder and mystery”, “sustenance and hope”I saw many similarities in what I had in my mind about my main concerns and what he invites to as “living poetically”. so I can see them more clear, but still my question remains…
It a while I feel more eager to know and to understand the way some great people, like Hafez, Molana or Sohrevardi, lived through… I really really envy them… I always envied them… but never as much as recent months…I envy their pains which I think was real pains; the pains are the most precious pains for man to live with, to suffer from…Ooohh..how lucky were they…
Couple of days ago I visited a painting exhibition of one of our famous painter. I didn’t like them excepting 2,3 of them but I wonder what in those works hurts me? As many would say, “it was an artistically show”! Yes…it was artistic, but I suspect it’s enough! Those painting were all fine worked in the case of “technique”- the skill once I thought is the main aspect in painting. His painting included the factor of “happening” too- how precious and unreachable it seemed to me. they also had something from our society and our now a days living in… so they had “meanings and thoughts” too. And, after all, they were personal; every single brush print in every special texture, showed this is Mr […] so his art works had all things we name art elements...but…they didn’t satisfy me…why? What was missing? You may not visited the exhibition I’m mentioning, but I’m sure you have some examples of artworks like this in our days… so, what do you think? What makes such a great distance and difference between most of modern arts and our old arts, like Negargari (miniature)s? what do you think?
In recent days thinking of my pains has made my mind so busy… I some how am discovering my pains… "Discover" may sound strange for what suffers one, but I feel we forget or not notice to them some times… And so my pains are more than what I thought first… but after days of thinking of, I feel I can't articulate but some of them… One, which has made me consider more on during recent years, is "learning". When I look past on my learning voyage "learning" has been a major concept in all steps; both in schools and university, both in painting and music classes. The common concern through all these has been the "learning" but is changing every … (year? month? day or hour?!)I remember the time that learning was "memorizing" some meanings, and then the time it was "understanding" what a book says and now, I think it has changed a lot. Now, learning for me is what I feel and gain from the life itself… from people around me, the nature and i! in other words, I try to learn from my surroundings and what it means to "me". oh, i know it's too general...maybe because it's not cleare enough for myself too! i wish to can unfold my meaning soon...
ALHAMDOLELLAH... when i saw my blog page minutes ago, suddenly felt how i am lucky that i taste another Ramadan, experienced another Ghadr night and surrounded by Fetr Air... thank you God, thanks
 Sobbh, Sobh, Beginning of a day, A life, An Eid… In Greatness of sky, Fresh breath of air An appreciative pray… Speak of Allah, Of all his majesties… And his celebrated Mohammad Salaam and swear to him And wish for blessing lives… What a marvelous sense! Smallness, also greatness of self, all at once! What a great sence, Thank you God, for this Fetr again…
Gentle sunlights… Harsh thunders… Soft leaf fall melodies… Sharp gorgeous colors screams… Calm, rough… Kind, cruel… I'm more lover these days… Light rains… Leaving birds… Cheer, pain… Life, death… Why I 'm crazier these days… Beautiful… violent… kind… Full of hope and pain… Isn't it love itself? Hmmmmm…What a nice cool breeze… Look there… colory leaves are falling…
Silence, Calmness, Light breeze… Shades behind long trees, Sound of falling red leaves, Touch of trees' heart beet, Cold soils under bare feet, . . . All tender, All pleasant, All charming, But… Still…not complete Something is lost… Someone… … Someone who fill you with breath… Someone who carries same sprite… Someone… Always I question… In dept of heart 'f nature, With all beauties and pleasure, How this need feels more in deep… 
Two days alive with beauties… spatiality… inspiration 'nd humanity… Two days and one night beside the hospitable nature… brilliance of a community… Every eye said salaam and every smile said we are friends…every heart near… Everything just wonderful 'nd exciting… I couldn't sleep the night because of richness of my mind and heart by cheer excitement and hope… Hope, friendship, sakeenah… all together…It was nothing except a gift from God Alhamdolilah…
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